By Debbie Mulligan

Congratulations! Today is your day

You’re off to great places, you’re off and away! (Seuss, Dr.; 1990)

 

Finally! How hard can it be

It’s about time and IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! (Mulligan, Dr.; 2030)

 

I’ve sweated and practised and sweated some more

If all else fails I’ve got cartoons galore

 

And a dvd with old men on bikes

I just hope it starts when it’s s’posed to- Yikes

 

I know, I’ll win them over with chocolate called Roses

And just for good luck, I’ll throw in some poses

 

The panel walks in and they all take a seat

I feel like they are the diners and I’m the cooked meat

 

Oh well, here we go, it’s now or never

Now is the moment to show them I’m clever

 

I deliver my speech and sit down with a sigh

Really Deborah, sit up straight, this is no time to cry

 

“I notice on page 10 you’ve used the word which…”

It’s then that I develop an unforeseen twitch

 

“Errrrrrrr, ummmmmm,” I mutter, stalling for time

How can they look at me like it’s such a big crime

 

No one told me this would be the longest hour of the day

My desperate thoughts start rambling and my mind starts to stray

 

I look around the room and my supervisor is nodding

Willing me onwards as my words just keep plodding

 

“The end,” says the chairman and graciously smiles

“The end,” says my battered psyche like it’s run 1000 miles

 

Thank heavens it’s over, I’m home on my bed

I’ve taken some Panadol for my poor aching head

 

Some chocolate and red wine are on the agenda

This could be the beginning of a very long bender………….

 

And then the next day my peers gather round for a report

I feel blessed and I’m grateful for all their support

 

This doctoral road is tricky, fraught with bends and dead ends

But it’s made just that bit easier with my new found friends.